September 23, 2013
This week I’ve been doing a read-through of a novel about sexual abuse of boys. The reason the author feels this is a topic not much written about is at the heart of the book: the shame. Especially in a culture that treats homosexuality as aberrant, any reference by boys and men to having been often abused by fathers, grandfathers, uncles, etc. threatens their masculine self-image.
The challenge is how to introduce the tension that the main character feels and carry it through to its eventual release – which is essentially the arc of the story – without describing it repeatedly with the same words.
I faced this same challenge in an inspiring (true) Vietnamese immigrant story (my favorite sort of story because of the cultural explorations and psychological challenges) whose main character was ethnic Chinese. He had to flee the war in North Vietnam when Ho Chi Min came to power, into the prejudice of South Vietnamese culture which would not even allow ethnic Chinese to attend public schools. Having worked for the American army, at the fall of Saigon he knew he would be killed by the Vietcong. His escape with seven children and a pregnant wife is many pages of terror, and so close the line that his cargo plane filled with refugees was the last flight out before the Saigon airport exploded. He watched burning barrels of fuel chase them down the runway as they took off.
How do you maintain the reader’s interest for 50 or 250 pages? The words terror, fear, panic, horror, staring, clenched fists, burning in the belly, whispering through a dry mouth, etc. may be useful a few times, but will tire the reader. For the reader needs constant newness – development of character, plot, and scene – as well as varied descriptors, fresh dialogue, and original insight.
I’m not a reader of thrillers, but what I’ve seen is a lot of dialog and minimal description. These make a quick read of a thick book. And they offer an insight about the reading experience: choppy, quick, fragmented, and jumpy elevate blood pressure in the reader. Therefore, to activate the physiological response of tension in the reader, use short sentences. Lots of periods encourage the reader to breathe rapidly and shallowly – the instinctual fear response. Short paragraphs support this pacing.
In the case of whodunits, the person solving the case is usually being pursued to prevent the perpetrator’s identity from being discovered and consequent justice wrought upon her/him. The action will be staccato, the terrors filled with suddenness.
There’s a tendency for writers to use the words suddenly, quickly, immediately. Instead, try to find ways to avoid all such words. They actually slow down the reader. They are descriptors, rather than carriers of action.
Writing in first person can build tension. That puts the reader more empathically into the perception and intention of the main character, helps her identify with the experience as her own. Using present tense enhances these benefits. The experience is happening now. That narrows the landscape of the reader to the immediacy of the character’s fears, decisions, doubts, and actions and reactions. Inner monologue, generally presented in italics, supports the experience.
If you’ve already written in the third person, take a chapter and rewrite it in the first person. It will have a very different feel. It is likely to be more direct, less descriptive, and more energetic. It’s worth a day or two to try this out. You may not be able to immediately feel the difference, but have a beta reader look at it with fresh eyes. And put it aside yourself for a couple of weeks. When you come back to it, your eyes will be more receptive.
I’ve done this for obstinate clients to give them a feel of what’s possible with their concept. So far, no one has jumped up and down for feeling a great burden lifted from them. But it’s been a chance for me to do some writing – and we all know how good that feels ….
Now I’ve got to get back to reinforcing that terror.
Until next time, delight in the process.
Download PDF: DCC_Building Tension in Your Writing